By Signe Jørgensen
It seems to me that the reasons people have for marrying these days are not logically convincing.
The only reason that could be convincing is if you are religious, (though not logically, because there is very little logic in religion), and want to be united in the eyes of God.
However, more and more people have civil ceremonies, or only marry in church because it is expected or tradition to do so, not out of any real devotion.
So if God is not a factor, then why bother marrying at all?
The argument that was presented to me, when I asked some of my friends, was that a marriage was a deep emotional commitment between two people. People want to proclaim their love for one-another in front of their friends and have a party.
I can understand that, but what is the difference between just standing up in front of your mates and yelling, ‘We love each other, and we’ll stay together always!’
Yes, there is a marriage certificate that you get to sign and take home (whoopee) and the state will recognize you as a couple. That’s nice, but it is just a piece of paper, and you can get that same recognition without marrying, as in a de-facto relationship.
Even the legal benefits of marriage are not substantial, and are essentially the same in a de-facto.
Don’t get me wrong, I think the idea of marriage is very romantic, and sweet.
But I also think that it is completely unreasonable to expect someone to promise to love you forever.
Even with the best intentions, and I’m sure people who marry have the very best intentions, you cannot promise something like that.
What if you fall out of love with your spouse? Then you would have broken the promise that is the very basis of your union.
At the very most you can promise to try to love somebody, or take care of them, or treat them with respect. And some people believe that this is what marriage eventually becomes under any circumstances; affection and friendship. But that again poses the question: if you think that this is what marriage is going to turn into, then why bother at all?
Surely it is just as fulfilling to live together, build a family together and grow old together without marriage as it would be if you were married. The piece of paper, the official recognition of your union, won’t affect the relationship on a personal level.
It seems to me that it is an old-fashioned ritual, and cannot be argued for in any reasonable sense. Emotions seem to be the main drivers, rather than logic, and people seem quite happy for it to be this way. They want the fairytale; “all is well that ends well”.